Thursday, December 31, 2009

So here it is, the end of the year, the beginning of another.....and I am tired of scientology. Tired of the whole thing, the compulsion to figure out life using it as a tool, tired of the culture of the Church, and tired of the drama surrounding that culture and the people who oppose it.

I think I know enough about life now to play it.

No, I am no tech master, but I know enough to stop looking for new data for a solution and focus on implementing the stuff I have in the actual living. What value is the theory without application? What sense in solving the challenges without the significance and touch of the pain and joy, sensation, emotion and consequences?

What probably brought this on is the call last night from a flag reg selling me the newly released ACC materials, over a thousand lectures with associated transcripts, and the issues that came out of them.

As she said, if I read/listened 5 hours a day for almost a year I could get through them. Do I need to? Am I sitting in a scarcity of data? And isn't this material already condensed down into the materials for the training and processing on the bridge, so that reading every single word LRH spoke or wrote unnecessary?

Why do we humans have such a competitive drive to win life? Its not over when we reach some stage, and time is infinite. Why not savor it as it goes along? Yes advance our knowledge, but not at the expense of the full appreciation of the experience.

So I am still a scientologist. I use it. But I don't want it to define me either. Scientology is a paradigm, a set of concepts to help explain and deal with life, but yet only a subset of life itself even in its fullest sense.

I guess a reader of this could extrapolate a new years resolution or two from this.....

Perhaps a comment along those lines from you?


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