Thursday, August 26, 2010

One of my favorites...

One of my favorites, brought to mind by the summer and thoughts of redwood forests cool allure.......oh the notion...naked in the forest, air on the skin, psychic excitement permeating the ether...instincts overriding social restraint......

barefoot in the summer forrest

scent of patchouli and girl funk

dancing on the path

of butterflies and weed

following boy/men pipers

who think they lead

earth, mother, dirty, girl

a moment stilled.

hemp skirt swirls below

the knoted tied T

and the natural hair

down fur'd body

nothing else to wear

soon though to loose

for a stream side bath

in the redwoods shadows

the men, their shafts

into a chakra's vortex

they'll be pulled

psychic energy emission

in mother earths hold

soft sweet girl whirlpool

as young as is old.

And then as one

with nature be

spent of worry, sorrow

and energy

To see her go

on down the path

dancing, glowing

with a laugh.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I am coming to the opinion that the Church of Scientology is unsalvageable.

Not that it was not a noble and well intended effort, and still to this day mostly populated by caring, aware and valuable people....

Its just that its direction has changed and the people who are in it are so interiorized that they are not seeing where they are going.

When I first tested the waters of organized scientology, I was shown LRH references that said it was my responsibility to examine what he said and determine for myself the truth or falsehood of it.

This is no longer the way it works. Challenging the status quo in the church results in banishment. Suppressive Person declares are issued for folks with years of service, and records of accomplishment. I was just talking today with someone about Trey Lotz, a class VIII, OT VIII who had done 2 of his 3 flag internships directly under LRH, and who has over 40,000 hours of delivery of auditing to his credit. How can this person be someone whom the church needs to banish?

Most all of the old timers from the days when LRH was at Saint Hill are declared, the top auditors in scientology, the Class 12's are down to a can these people all be suppressive?

LRH set up the organization of scientology so that the top of the organization was an exterior qual function to the activities below it, yet today it has been turned upside down so that it is management by orders from the top with no initiative allowed at the bottom. A model best suited for war. War is bad.

The basic paradigm of scientology is the unmocking of stuck dichotomies. War being of that kind. But numerous examples of created arbitrary dichotomies can be seen in the current church. The push for material status with opulent buildings as opposed to the stated goal of scientology; freeing spiritual beings from the material! We are not mud, scientology is not buildings.

And if we aspire to be free beings, how does the rigid cultural pressure in the church fit? It is not complimentary to spiritual freedom but in fixed opposition.

What is sad is the that people are not seeing the larger direction of the church in the more minor roles they play in it. There are so many cultural elements in scientology that have carried through the years to now be used to manipulate and entrap its members.....and the membership is now of a generation that may only know this more rigid, dogmatic "religion" rather than what it once was. A great deal of institutional memory was lost in Miscaviges putsch in the early 80's....

I am still in good standing with the church, mainly because "they" do not know what I have said, and don't seem to have people who can pull withholds. I have been on the meter a few times and had my "inappropriate thoughts" remain unaddressed....Yes I can think nice thoughts and float my needle even when asked specifically for overts. ( I won't get into that whole floating needle mess...... but its another example of scientology turned upside down, and its acceptance is one more example of the membership not applying what LRH wrote, but Acquiescing to cultural pressure).

It is the culture that is the problem...


  • An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning
  • The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group

I am a scientologist, and don't see that changing till I die. I am a bit frustrated that I can not influence the organization set up by the philosophies founder, to retake and keep the form he envisioned. Scientology is not the Church that owns the name. The church is not the important thing, although it acts as if it were. The ideas are the value.

I have a recently arrived theory, LRH had most of the OT concepts and techniques figured out in the 50's, and then spent decades undercutting and expounding on them to make it available to people who needed a bit more explanation and theory is that the organization underwent a similar dumbing down, bringing it to the level where the likes of its current leadership could move in. The mistake being not maintaining an exterior viewpoint on it all. LRH interiorized into his own creation. Like all of us have. We see it every time we look at some bit of "case", our own cause, unacknowledged, unrecognized, and thus putting us at effect.

So what is the solution? For me it is not to once again set myself up in opposition, and dedicate myself to the latest GPM.....It is to use what I know, based on my own decision that it is true and no one elses, to function, to create the future, and to enjoy the experience of it.

I am not bound to scientology by policy, or culture, but only by my own observation of its value to me. And I will also observe other portions of life and find value or not on my own determinism.

I have a few favorites...  (I know I keep pushing these....  :)  )

But most importantly is the recognition that even though I like some school of thought or a few, it is fundamentally only my responsibility for what happens in my life, and in what I observe. I create in some fashion all that I perceive. Understanding how to operate based on this truth, is what I now need to learn.

My love to any who read this. Love is the core of life.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Where did They go

Where did They go
Those people so passionate
Not to shame
Or find fault
But same
What we had so magic
And gone
Did they absorb into the walls
Dreams forgotten
Awake now magic gone
I am lonley for them

Sent from my iPhone

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Life the universe and everything...

I so badly want to write my unified theory of everything. Some great project that ties all my understandings of life, the universe and everything, together....(Hitchhikers Guide).

But I don't think I can, or will.

If anyone is interested I have posted here and elsewhere, the major influences, and schools of thought that make up my current world view, missing is my life experiences that make those things relevant to me.

Perhaps, they would not be relevant to others, except where their lives were similar to mine.

There are times when I have the energy and the compulsion to push my viewpoint, and there are times when I think it best to fade away and let people discover their own truth with out my ego interfering.

But to bullet point: Scientology, (not the church), Monroe Institute and Bob Monroe, Ingo Swann, Gangji and "the american way"....

If I were to sum up my view of life, it would be that it is entirely what you make it. Either by action or omission, but entirely your own creation. And purpose? Something to do, something to fill the time in the most pleasurable way. Nothing more really.

And sometimes you need to cease participating and return to the stillness and constant love that is the core of your existence. Outside of time and things and others.

A path I sometimes look down with a bit of longing....though I'm sure I would soon want back in the game.

(there are some interesting links over on the rights side, "other places I like" ..... check them out!)


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I don't normally do this....(copypasta forwarded emails...)

Five (5) lessons about the way we treat people

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor
Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student

And had breezed through the questions until I read
The last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
Cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
The last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers,
You will meet many people.  All are significant. They
Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
Is smile and say "hello.."

I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her
Name was Dorothy. 

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain 

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American
Woman was standing on the side of an  Alabama  highway
Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
Broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally
Unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man
Took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
Put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
Address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
Knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
Giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
Special note was attached.

It read:

"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
The other night. The rain drenched not only my
Clothes, but also my spirits.  Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God
Bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving

Mrs. Nat King Cole. 

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those

Who serve. 

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in
Front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
Studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the
Waitress was growing impatient..

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
The table and walked away The boy finished the ice
Cream, paid the cashier and left..  When the waitress
Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
Table.  There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,

Were two nickels and five pennies..

You see,  he couldn't  have the sundae, because he had
To have enough left to leave her a tip. 

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path. 

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
Roadway.  Then he hid himself and watched to see if
Anyone would remove the huge rock  Some of the
King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
And simply walked around it..  Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
Anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
Vegetables.  Upon approaching the boulder, the
Peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road.  After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway.  The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
our condition. 

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts... 

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare and serious disease.  Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness.  The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save
her."  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing
the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her. 

Now you have 

1 Delete this email, or 

2. Forward it to other people. 

I hope that you will choose No. 2 and remember. 

Most importantly.... "Work like you

don't need the money, love like you've never been

hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching." 


Thursday, August 5, 2010


There seem to be three "universes", three realities, three states of awareness/being....

Your own universe. Unshared with others, or that part of the shared universes that is solely your own creation.

Shared universes. Those which you and others co-create or participate in.

Others own universe. Those which you are unaware and have not connection to or participation in.

Shared universes are where most people believe "truth" to lie. (funny little turn of phrase...) I should say where truth is believed to reside. Shared universes are the only place where individuals can agree. Universes that are not shared or which are not in ones awareness or that of others can not be true except in the perception of the owner/creator/inhabitant.

Simple axiomatic truths. But with profound implications.

Ultimately what you experience, perceive, see to be the truth is your own creation, either in the choice to share or not, your and others creations. The basis of all experience is based on the simple choice of what to perceive and what to create in your own mind/universe. The apparantcy of unwanted perception can always be tracked back to some previous agreement to "share".

You can learn to control your choices. You can learn to not choose, but be still.

Life is what you make it.